I Am Gamer III Read online

  “Law, we’ve got company!” Lightning Fist yelled.

  “No shit Sherlock, everyone back to the hall, we’re surrounded! Arun get your men back here and inside!” I yelled, turning and moving quickly back to the Norse style building, my men already moving with Freak leading the way.

  Arun began shouting orders and his men broke their Shield Wall down and turned hurrying after my own. I stopped at the entrance and let everyone pass me, Billy, Patty, and Freak hung with me. Arun came up quickly, letting his men stream by ahead of him as well.

  “I should’ve known from our experience with the Skudakumooch, and the bastard said this was just the beginning… shit!” I hissed, readying for the upcoming fight and kicking myself mentally for the gaff.

  “Where are they?” Arun asked, as the last man entered the hall behind him.

  The five of us stood at the entrance right in front of the huge double doors, all scanning the area and trying to see everywhere at once. I rechecked my map and saw the surrounding red was still all around us and coming closer by the second. They were so close I should of have already been able to see them. Judging by the distance shown on my mini map they were only a hundred or so feet away. Freak’s growling had become even louder, like he was revving his engine. Now, they were only eighty feet away, then seventy, sixty, fifty. When they hit twenty feet and I still couldn’t see them it hit me like a lightning bolt, and I looked down at my feet. Just like the fucking movie Aliens.

  “The water! They’re below us. Get in the hall!” I commanded, as all five off us moved and ran inside. “Shut the door!”

  Arun shot me a horrified look and urged his men on faster. Thunder Foot and Lightning Fist were already pushing the wooden doors closed as I slipped inside. Turning at the last moment, I saw the first of the monsters come into view. They resembled a cross between the Creature from the Black Lagoon and a giant frog. The fishman like MOBs screeched and howled at the top of their lungs, a gurgling wet sound that sent chills down the spine. Then the doors slammed shut, muting their hideous cries.

  “Get the beam on that door!” Arun commanded, a half dozen of his warriors already levering the massive wooden doorstop into position.

  It boomed into place just as the pounding of dozens upon dozens of fists began on the newly secured doors. The beating was so strong the wood started shaking wildly but it was strong and held against the monsters. I closed my mini map as it was completely covered in red now and accessed the blinking message in my periphery.

  AGLEBEMU (Level – 3)

  The Penobscot, Maliseet, and Passamaquoddy tribes all have legends and warnings about the Aglebemu which originate from the Wabanaki legend of monsters who dammed up a great river. The result was a drought that almost destroyed the tribe’s lands. Ultimately, they were defeated and turned into froglike creatures by the hero

  Glooskap, also known as Mitche-hant. These monsters live in huge groups and eat everything they get their hands on, ranging from fish and woodland creatures to humans. If their food sources run dry, they will consume each other until they find a new one.

  I closed the window then looked around at my crew, Arun, and the Viking Natives. The door and now whole building were shaking due to the continuous pounding of the monster’s fists. Fear was palpable in the air, mostly from the Viking Native side of things. Even the giant Arun seemed a bit scared, his eyes wide and body tense. I glanced at my SEALs and they were also emitting the same fear but to a much less degree.

  “Well, isn’t this a right shite predicament. Stuck in here with all ya smelly ass cock gobblers. I think I’d rather be out there with those frog looking fucks. What in the hell do all ya shite heads eat anyway?” Patty swore, grinning and miming waving stink away from his face and breaking the tension with his crass humor.

  Arun’s face broke out in a smile and the tension visibly bled off him. His men, seeing him relax also calmed down, albeit to a much less degree. My whole crew laughed out loud and I could tell they were calmer now and ready to fight. Those freaking Irishmen were worth more than their weight in gold. I clapped Patty on the back and gave him a silent nod of thanks, which he returned with a wink.

  The building shook even harder, and the door jumped with the hardest pounding yet intruding in on the moment. Fear returned to the warriors but this time to a much less degree. Arun cleared his throat, drawing the attention of all the occupants of the room.

  “I don’t think the doors will hold for much longer. We build well, but I’m not sure we build that well. If there are that many Aglebemu out there, they probably will not much longer at all.” He said, almost apologetically.

  “Don’t worry I already have a plan.” I replied, grinning wolfishly.

  “Rawr!” Freak chimed in, already sensing the spirit of what I was planning.

  TRACK 3 – YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT – THE ROLLING STONES

  “Get more beams on that door!” Arun commanded, gesturing to his warriors.

  “Billy, are the harquebuses in position?” I asked, from my position a dozen feet from the still shaking entranceway.

  I had to give the bastards credit they were persistent. The Viking Native lodge had been shaking nonstop for the last few minutes, the pounding and rumbling a constant backdrop to our preparations. I kind of enjoyed the rhythmic drumbeat it was like I was at a rave or something. Although, when I looked around at the Viking Natives and my own fighters, I could tell they didn’t share my good humor or nostalgia. I was also pretty sure that my constant whistling and humming to my soundtrack may have been bothering them as well. Hey, we each handle stress in our own ways, right?

  “Aye Law, the SEALs are all in position and ready when you are.” Billy replied.

  Patty walked up then and stopped by my side, leaning casually on his spear and spitting into the fire. Which was no small feat, as the lodges fire was ten feet away. It was like that joke, a man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, I bet you a thousand dollars I can piss in that beer glass ten feet away without spilling a drop. The bartender laughs and looks at the man and then at the glass on the other end of the bar, then agrees.

  The man nods and proceeds to whip his dick out and begins to piss everywhere. He pisses on the bar, the floor, the barstools, even gets some on the bartender. The man’s piss stream literally goes everywhere but in the glass. When the pissing is over the bartender is cracking up, laughing his ass off, and then asks the man for his thousand dollars.

  The man tells the bartender to hold on for a minute. Then proceeds to go to a group of men at the back of the bar and talks to them for a moment, he returns to the bartender and hands him a thousand bucks, while wearing a shit eating grin. The bartender asks him what’s so funny, since he just lost a thousand dollars. With another smile and laugh, the man explains to the bartender, that not only did he not lose a thousand dollars he made five thousand.

  The bartender cocks his eyebrow and the man explains that he bet the group of men that he just spoke too, that not only could he piss on the bar, the floor, he could piss on the bartender himself, and not only would he not be mad, but he’d be happy. The bartender’s mouth dropped open and the man nods, begins whistling, and strolls out of the bar. Man, I love that story, anyway I digress, back to the work of defending the lodge from killer frog monsters.

  “When are we kicking this shindig off, eh?” Patty asked, still leaning nonchalantly on his spear, even though the rhythmic pounding was the loudest and hardest it had been.

  “I think it’s probably time.” I responded, looking around the room and seeing that everyone was in position.

  “Good, I was getting tired of all the racket, it’s time to swing my hammer.” Arun said, coming up on the opposite side of me from Patty and swinging his weapon to emphasis his point.

  “Alright, let’s do this! Ready up gentlemen. On my signal pull those beams off the door!” I called, pulling my two knives from their sheaths.

  I loaned my bow and arrows to Arun who gave it to
his best archer. A man named Winking Weasel, who was up on the balcony with the other long-range fighters, my harquebusiers included. The distance from the balcony to the shaking doors was only thirty feet, plus I was worried about the weapons accuracy at that range. The mass of monsters that would be attacking should be hard to miss. Besides, we had archers for more accurate shots. Until I got back to blacksmithing and could upgrade the guns with better rifled bores and bullets it was what we had.

  Arun’s four largest warriors were at the double doors and had removed all but the last beam holding them portal closed. The shaking became worse and it was only a matter of minutes, maybe seconds before the monsters broke through. It was time. I motioned to Arun and he nodded in return.

  “Do it!” He called to his men.

  Two of the warriors grabbed the beam and the other two each grabbed hold of a door. Then, as one they lifted the beam and backed away while the other two pushed open the two huge doors, or at least they tried. The pounding continued yet the door didn’t open.

  “Those open outwards, don’t they?” I asked.

  Arun gave me a sheepish grin and then shrugged.

  “Ach, ya big fucker, don’t just stand there, give me a hand.” Patty grumbled good naturedly, placing his spear back over his shoulder holder and walking to the doorway, clapping Arun on the shoulder on his way.

  His demeanor belaying his swears and curses. The two men reached the doors and joined the others already there.

  “Ok, everyone, a slight change of plans. As soon as those doors are opened, toss that beam and run. You up top, fire the moment our guys are clear! Got that?” I called out, a chorus of yes’s, aye-ayes, and grunts answering me. “Whenever you guys are ready.”

  “On three!” Arun called. “One…”

  Hands adjusted their grips on weapons.

  “Two!” He continued.

  The clinking of armor and shields sounded as we readied ourselves.

  “Three!” Arun shouted, then he and the two other warriors pushed outward with all their might, shoving the giant doors outward, with grunts and groans of exertion.

  For a moment, nothing happened as the four men strained against the mass of bodies on the other side.

  “Come on ya bastards! Put your puffer loving backs into it!” Patty yelled, his muscles rippling under his armor and clothing.

  Then, like a damn bursting the doors exploded outward smashing and launching dozens of the froglike monsters, now bleeding and broken, back into their ranks and fellow MOBs. What’s green, red, and black all over and goes thirty miles an hour? Fucked up ass frog monsters, that’s what! Ha! I love that joke!

  There was a moment that we all just stood there and stared at one another. The Aglebemu were stunned and looked to their downed brethren and then back at us. We all kind of did the same. My brain kept moving though and I used the time to study the situation, my mini map updating and feeding me information. It didn’t matter, there were so many of them it was just a red blob. They covered the entire area in front of the lodge, the bridge and beyond, along with the sides and everything. And, if the limbs around the doorway were any inclination adding in the banging from earlier, they were on the top lodge as well.

  I did a little mental arithmetic and the number came out to a metric fuck ton of monsters! Then, it was like someone hit the pause button again and the world unfroze. Hundreds of screaming, well croaking, frogmen rushed forward enveloping the entrance.

  “Fire!” Billy’s voice cracked out.

  The four weapons exploded in a cacophony of light and sound, enhanced tenfold by the enclosed space. Jesus fucking Christ, it was loud! The four massive metal balls ripped into different monsters but so did dozens of arrows, downing the first line of rushing MOB’s. It staggered them as they came but didn’t stop the flood. Patty and Arun had retreated to the line of warriors and were brandishing their weapons. He raised his hammer high.

  “Till Valhalla!” Arun cried, his men forming the shield wall on either side of the two heroes.

  “Not a bad war cry. Let’s kick these fish in giblets!” Patty laughed, and lashed out with his spear, taking down a frog with each lighting fast attack.

  “There, was a firefight!” I yelled, raising my arms up in the air, just like I was in Boondock Saints, and activating Flame on my blades. Man, I loved that movie and I’ve always wanted to say that. “Freak, let’s rock!”

  We rushed in, slithering in between the two men. Arun struck with his glowing purple war hammer, laying about with reckless abandon, chanting Norse and Native god’s names, his men following like he was calling cadence. They stopped the advance on their shields and then reversed the tide. The we all counter attacked, I with my blades, Freak with teeth and claw, and so on.

  “Reload, fire!” Billy’s voice rang out, every half a minute or so.

  They’d need to get their reloading time better. We’d get it eventually, if we survived that is. They, along with the bowmen, fired over the heads of the warriors and hit the monsters as they entered the lodge, while they pulled their own dead out of the way to get to us. Monsters fell by the score. They didn’t care, they tossed and trampled their dead and dying just to make it to our killing ground.

  They died, whether by bullet, blade, hammer, axe, claw, or arrow it didn’t matter, they died just the same. We racked up a running tally of the downed enemy until everyone lost count. I checked my map and it showed a little bit less red but at this rate we’d be here until nightfall killing these damned rubbery ass monsters. As usual though, life throws in a curveball.

  Shouts and screams of surprise sounded out from behind us. I gave the area in front of us a quick glance and saw that we were holding our own.

  “Go ahead, me and the tall fucker have this.” Patty grunted.

  “Yes, go and see what the commotion is, stickman and I shall defeat the monsters!” Arun called in a singsong voice while swinging his hammer nonstop.

  I nodded and sent a mental command to Freak then turned and we made our way through our ranks and to where the new commotion was going on.

  “Thunder Foot, you’re in charge!” Billy called, then leaped down from the balcony, joining Freak and me.

  “Nice of you join us.” I said.

  “I’d not-have missed this for the world. Needed to get me blade wet, if you know what I mean.” Billy said, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

  I laughed at the stupid joke, sometimes all you need is a good dick joke. Then, I heard more shouts and screams, along with roars and other sounds that weren’t quite human. The three of us shared a nod, put on our game faces, and increased our pace.

  In the rear of the hall was the stairwell that Arun said led down to the floodgates. The entrance to said portal was currently surrounded by Viking Natives, I’d need to think of a better name for these guys, I was getting tired of saying that moniker in my head. They were standing in a half moon defensive posture. The screams and yells had stopped, but there was still the occasional roar and animal sound that kept floating up.

  “Make way, what’s going on over here?” I called, pushing my way into the formation, my two comrades at my sides.

  The relief I felt from the warriors was palpable. When they saw us, they breathed a collective sigh of relief, and the man in the center took the lead.

  “Thank the gods, we’re being attacked from below everyone down there is dead, we think…” He trailed off, the fear quickly coming back as he thought of whatever had happened.

  Nope, that’s not happening, I reached back and open faced slapped the man like a little bitch.

  “Get your shit together!” I roared, glaring around at the warriors.

  “Roar!” Freak chimed in, adding to my attempt to get these guys on track and not scared shitless, thanks buddy.

  “Start over and tell me what’s going on.” I commanded, in my best Drill Instructor imitation.

  The man swallowed visibly composing himself and giving me a nod before speaking. There was som
ething about that boot camp voice that just worked on people, guess that’s why they used it.

  “We were down guarding the floodgates and then the Aglebemu attacked. It went as planned at first Chief…” The warrior hesitated.

  “Call me War Shaman, continue.” I said, rolling my fingers in the timeless go-ahead motion.

  “Yes, War Shaman, then the Tie-snakes attacked, and we still held strong, then something else, bigger and stronger than the Aglebemu came. It was a massacre. Some of us escaped, a lot of us did not. We’ve been guarding the entrance ever since.” The man finished, obvious shame in his tone.

  I clapped him on the back and nodded. There was no shame, he was just a normal human being. The fact the he and his fellow warriors stopped and held their ground where they did was enough. I told them as much then motioned to my tiger and Billy. The hall and stairwell shook again to emphasis my point. Then, I took the lead and headed down the stairwell.

  TRACK 4 – WREK THA DISCOTEK – SOULSON, ROGER S.

  The roughhewn timber walls and stairs were damp and shook with our every step. It was dim but with my enhanced vision I could see fine. I wasn’t so sure about Billy, so I reactivated the Flame skill on both my weapons. It was a good thing I did so, because a whole lot of snake things were shooting up all sides of the stairwell and coming straight at us. The information appeared and I used a mind partition to take a glance, while preparing for the incoming MOBs with the rest of my focus.

  TIE-SNAKES (Level – 3)

  These water monsters are a part of the South Eastern Tribes folklore, but some variation exists in most Native folklore. Tie-snakes always travel and live in groups, huge coils of snakes that sometimes number in the high ten’s and sometimes twenties. They are also large, and each single Tie-snake can grow to the size of an Anaconda. Of which they resemble, that and a fanged viper. They are constrictors as well as poisoners, having multiple ways to kill their prey.